Things Have a Way of Working Out for the Best

~ IHTFYW

Dear P,

I hope this finds you well.

I wish things had been different and that I hadn’t spent the last 30 years pining over you. In fact, there’s a part of me that wishes I’d never met you at all. I suppose things have a way of working out for the best though, and I’d imagine that if we’d ended up together, I’d probably never have trusted you, knowing what I know. 

I do wish though, that you hadn’t settled for that overly-jealous harpy. I feel bad that you haven’t gotten laid in years. Well, sort of. Kind of. Not really. There’s a small part of me that wishes you’d reach out again though, just so I could tell you to…

Fuck all the way off forever,
Me

I Wouldn’t Piss on You if You Were on Fire

~ IHTFYW

Dear R,

I hope this finds you well.

I really miss the friendship I thought we had, but as it turns out, you’re an actual piece of human trash. Almost half my life you had me fooled, and losing you was the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever went through. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, unless it was one of those weak wees where I could pretend I was making effort to help, but really doing nothing. You know, like you always did.

Good riddance.

Fuck all the way off forever,

I Miss Our Friendship

~ IHTFYW

Dear N,

I hope this finds you well.

I miss our friendship. I miss knowing what your kids are up to. I don’t understand why our kids not being friends anymore means that we can’t be friends anymore. You were my main Mom-friend and I have been grieving that loss. I feel like our friendship must not have been as important to you as it was to me, if you’re able to just stop communicating with me. The kids are teenagers now so it would be easy for us to continue to be friends without them. There wasn’t any big falling out (to my knowledge) between them. I still care about your kids – they’ve been in my life since they were babies and I have loved them like they were my own. I still scour pictures from mutual friends online to see if your middle has still continued to dance. I see your oldest is now playing the same sport you played in high school. I would love to know if they’re ok, and if you’re ok. Are things ok with your parents? I have so much I’d like to tell you.

I miss you greatly, and I wish you missed me too.

Love,
T

You Useless Turd

~ IHTFYW

Dear Goodbye you useless turd.

I hope this finds you well.

You are gross. You know what you did. You know what you are. 

Never ever love bomb me again. 
Never steal my time again.
Never call me “sooo stupid” like it’s a joke but we all know it isnt.
Never rant endlessly about how much everyone is “trash” to me ever again.
Never give me that ice cold stare when I share good news. 
Never block and unblock me over and over to try and get me to come back. I wont.
Never talk like you have any idea about anything-you have no fucking clue about anything. You fucking idiot. 
Never come into a room mid conversation and demand everyone tell you the whole back story before they can continue.
Never brag about how amazing you are, when you tried to destroy your grandfathers life.
Never fake a disease you don’t have ever again.
NEVER EVER make fun of my family again and how cool we are. You khaki wearing basic bitch. 
And lastly, NEVER make up lies about people so you feel better about yourself. That’s called low class. 

Goodbye forever, until my last breath.  

-Me

( Thanks you for allowing me to do this!lol )

Stop Complaining

~ IHTFYW

Dear friend,

I hope this finds you well.

You sure complain a lot for someone who does nothing to fix her problems. Stop spending money you don’t have or stop complaining to me that you can’t pay the bills.

Warmest Regards,

a friend

Good Riddance

~ IHTFYW

Dear Christine,

I hope this finds you well.

I don’t know how you throw away a 20+ year friendship so easily. How you get married and tell 2 friends in our circle that I would not be attending the wedding…. Blows my mind. Glad they knew, I had no idea. How I got to watch your bridal showers and bachelorette go down on Facebook because I am not good enough to invite but you don’t have enough balls to unfriend me or speak to me. You’re spineless and I’m better off. There was so many times I wanted to just message you and tell you F YOU. But, why should I? I was dealing with an alcoholic narcissist who was abusive mentally and physically… but you wouldn’t know. You weren’t my safe space anymore. I would reach out and get distant responses. This is how you choose to end a lifelong friendship…. Good riddance!

Fuck all the way off forever,

Mindy (in hopes you somehow read this one day)

I can’t tell anyone

~ IHTFYW

Dear World,

I hope this finds you well.

When I was 8 my best friend molested me all the time. A babysitter molested me. Friends who were boys touched me and taught me things but really it was just groping me. Grown men would say gross things to me all the time. Boys felt me up all through high school. I was a virgin until I was 17 and then I was raped. A boyfriend in high school made me watch porn with him and act out the scenes. In university I slept with anyone who would sleep with me (which was a sadly low number of people) unprotected and I knew they didn’t like me, but I didn’t like me either, so what did it matter. I don’t know how to heal from this because I can’t tell it to anyone. I am going to come read all the letters in case anyone has advice for me.

Thank you,