Dear Dad,

I hope this finds you well. Isn’t that how these things are supposed to start? With a well-wishing so worn it almost loses its meaning? Yet, here I am writing a letter to a man whose voice I’ve never heard, whose face is just a blur in an old photograph.

You left before I could even walk, and while Mom has done her best, there’s always been a you-shaped hole in my life. I used to imagine you’d come back one day. I hoped one day you’d reach out to see me and mom. Every father’s day, and Christmas, and my birthdays were spent hoping for you.

Then I grew older, angrier. You left a trail of destruction behind you. You broke my mom and you broke me too.

It isn’t fair but that’s life, right. Don’t you wonder how I am? Don’t you wonder if I look like you? Don’t you give a single shit about a life you created and left behind? Why did you leave and never contact me? Why did you not love me enough? Do I have grandparents on your side? Don’t you have family that wants to know me? How could you leave my mom like that?

I’ve carried this unspoken conversation with you for years. I have so many questions I’ll never be able to ask and you must have answers I’ll never hear. It’s heavy, dad.

Wherever you are, I hope life has treated you better than you treated me. I can’t say I forgive your absence, but I am so grateful for what I have and who I have, and I just want to let go of the ghost of you. I hope I never hear from you. Thank you for nothing.

Best wishes,
KG